2014 is now well underway, and yet all has been quiet here at AS.com. I’ve been fairly reclusive on social media these past two months as well, because I’ve been going through some pretty big changes. I never planned to; all I did was go on a four week holiday to visit family in Germany, but I’ve come back a completely different person.
In hindsight, I probably should have seen the change coming. After all, I did quit my full-time job before I left, and don’t intend to find a new one.
That’s right, I’ve gone full-time with coaching, and with AS.com!
When I made the decision to quit, I thought it was a pretty simple transition. The only thing that would change was that instead of having 1-2hrs/day to spend working on my biz, I would now have up to 14! I was so wrong.
Over the past four weeks my identity has completely changed. I used to be the waitress that wants to work for herself, and I am now a full-time, professional coach and entrepreneur. It still freaks me out a little to say that, but it’s the truth.
My transformation started out accidental. I knew I needed new clothes so that I could go to networking events (I didn’t even own a blazer!), so I hired a stylist. Together, we created my new look, and looking at myself in the mirror I thought ”Wow, I actually look like a coach and entrepreneur! What else can I do to make myself feel more like this?” And so the hair changed. And the makeup. And as I changed on the outside, so did my Inner Game.
I even accidentally underwent a “Rebirth” Ritual: I was just having a nice relaxing bath, with candles and music, essential oils, the whole wellness shebang. And as I was finishing and watching the water drain away, I could feel the old me draining away with it. It’s freaky, but I knew I wasn’t the same person anymore, I had turned pro.
I didn’t realise it then, but rituals like the one I underwent are incredibly important when making a change. Many people I know do an annual review at the end of every year; it’s part of their ritual to welcome in the New Year and all the changes that come with it. A ritual, whether it be as elaborate as my transformation, or as small as lighting a candle, creates a barrier between the Then and the Now. Then I was trying; Now I am doing.
I have a feeling that doing a small ritual before you start a new habit will increase your chances of success. It doesn’t matter what it is, so long as you do something that symbolises that this time is different. Never mind that you’ve tried to lose weight hundreds of times before, this time is different because you are different. You need to feel that distinct shift in identity – you used to be a couch potato with a list of excuses a mile long, but you’re not any more. That’s why you’re burning them.
Do whatever feels right to you – I had no idea what I was doing with my bath, I just decided to light the candles – and trust that whatever you do is exactly what you need to bring the new You into existence.